Friday, March 28, 2008

I'M NOT OLD...I'M A MOM

Feel free to laugh at anytime..

I'm not old, I'm a mom. I have said that at least 3 times today. Today was such a nice day the kids and i went out and hit some stores. We went to one store, no names here... but there was a shirt that i was looking for, while i was searching two younger ladies no older then 22 walked by and said "... hahaha look at this shirt only old people wear that...." I said to myself... but i like that shirt.. its basic, clean cut, easy to care for... that's not an old person shirt". Needless to say i ended up not getting anything, they didn't have my size.

As the day continues we walked by(after spending 3 min getting the kids out the car seat into stroller's) a loud group of woman.. not I'M GOING TO BE LOUD FOR THE HELL OF IT... just a carrying voice, any who we walk by and they are talking about shoes (hint we were near a shoe store) "...oh i love your new shoes, they going to look great with your blue dress...." then someone else said " I so wouldn't be able to wear that dress if i was a mom, the stretch marks, the puff belly.. and anyway I'm to young to me a mom... I haven't had my 30th birthday party yet... haha its only a mth away..." as the laughter continues I'm thinking to my self.. shes older then i am.. and i have 2 kids.... am i to old to be cool....I'm still in my twenties. So we go in on of my favorite stores and my dd said "mommy pink, pink paper, pink cup, .... green, green flowers, green color.... red, red paper, red flowers, red shirt.. mommy your short is red and white.. mommy pretty shirt... " after that i didn't feel old i felt proud, proud to be a mom, proud to have smart kids, proud that i was able to me a mom... with a a good a nice since of reality and comfort...lol..

Thursday, March 27, 2008

I cant say thank you enough

This week has just been HARD, really hard. Business, home, fine, but my 1yr old son needed to have his first (praying that its last) CT Scan. Yeah so i was freaking out... not even from the ct scan part , it was the whole thing everything, sedation, him getting the scan done, and finding out results that will come next week. Earlier this week i was OK, but Wednesday shit hit the fan.. I started crying, I needed to get out the house, get a drink i swear.. i know i need to be strong for him and my dd, but sometimes us moms have a little breakdown before everything starts.

***Little back info.. when my son was born he had a forceps delivery didn't want it but we needed to get him out. after the first couple of week we noticed a bony lump on his forehead. nothing no where else, just in his forehead. Later we found out that the bony plates in his forehead overlapped and fused together. So to make sure his brain isn't affected by it they wanted to do a ct scan, and see if there is anything that can be done. ***

Any who.....

I cant tell you how much support i had, not just from family, but from friends, my mommies groups, business groups, you name it, the amount of prayers that were said( i don't know how many) but the time to just say a word meant a lot. I had 3 of my friends that live closet to me offer to watch my dd while we go for the appointment. They have a life and a family of there own, but they did this for me and my family... and i cant tell you i cant say thank you enough.

So we get there to the hospital after ohhh getting the run around of where to check in. We finally find the place we need to go we go to the peds section, and this part the sedation part scared me the most.. hes never had to be sedated. It took 30 min for him to go to sleep.. holding him while hes screaming, kicking , hitting--- fighting to go to sleep, i just want to cry. He wouldn't let them take his vitals, nothing, they went to go get the second dose, loaded it up brought it in the room and he crashed and went to sleep. Here we go, they took his vitals, everything sound great. Took him to get the scan stood there for 5 min or so and it was done. Back to the room we go, to let him sleep the meds off. 30min went by, he didn't wake up, 1 hr went by he didn't wake up, so they were trying to wake him up with a damp rag didn't work.. So now I'm kinda getting worried cause he wont wake up, i held him kissed him, still nothing, finally he started waking up.. WOHOO... my baby is waking up.. but he was so drowsy, and out of it.. and he was so hungry, and grumpy but he was awake. He drunk a 12oz bottle of apple juice in the hospital, took a poop.. you name it. Fast forward we got home he ate some and went to sleep. I came to check my e-mail haven't done that all day.. look in my inbox there was over 400 e-mails.. and a lot of it were friends checking in from work, moms saying "I hope everything is going good, .....I'm still praying for you guys, .... We love you, If you need to call me do so..."

I tell you i cant say thank you enough.... Going from no friends/little friends, to a whole support network, I am so grateful. Were still waiting for results but right now my little boy is with me and happy....

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

who ever said being a mom was easy....

Who ever said being a mom was easy..LIED....lol.. There are days that its not as hard, kids listen, you can clean, cook, work, sleep, eat, walk, run( not me but some), drive, go out in public and the kids act like they had some home training--which i do teach them. Then there are days that you want to pull your hair out - the same hair that took years to finally grow and 100's of dollars to look good, you said no so many times that you starting to think that no is your child's name, dinner burnt so you call for pizza and they know your name buy heart, the house looks like a tornado hit, and going to the take a pee with the door close is mellow time for you.

Don't get me wrong, I love my kids and love being a mom, but there are some day that are harder then others. For example, we go out to a birthday party for a friend of mine, her baby just turned 1. We get there my daughter is doing fine playing, no problems till she saw the birthday cake in the fridge, then all hell broke loose. She didn't want to eat, she stop listening, she threw a tantrum , you name it. It got to the point were we had to leave, because she was raising hell. I felt bad, embarrassed, and upset, you name it. I know we do things to save face and the kids know that we don't tolerate that behavior, but when will they learn? Our parents said the same thing i bet.

As they say you never really know how it is to be a mom till you become one. Thank being said.. If someone ask is it easy being a mom, don't lie tell them the truth.. ITS HARD, BUT ITS WORTH.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Is it ever ok to just give up???

Is it ever OK to just give up? That's a question that i ask myself every day. Should i just give up being a sahm? Should i give up trying to be build my business? Should i give up being me? NO NEVER... the whole point of life is to grow and succeed. To me even if its a micro mini step in the positive is a Big step to success, One step to my goal, One more reason not to give up.

Things to remember for not give up.
- You are you! good, bad ,what ever. Love yourself and love life even in the time of sorrow.
- Know that there is always someone in your corner. May not be financially but someone is there.
- Prays are only a word, a key, a call away. Sometime we may need a pray to keep us going. That's OK, as long as you don't give up.
-Last but not lease, You have a dream, a goal, a talent, Don't let it go to waste.

If anyone can learn anything from me NEVER GIVE UP!!!!